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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 07. 22 조회 16051

SNS

작성자: 1102047346 담당 튜터: Chloe1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I don’t enjoy using SNS like Facebook and Twitter. Because I don’t like that someone that I don’t know can get my privacy easily. Also I think using SNS looks like killing time. Some of my friends waste their time with giggling while seeing stupid contents through SNS. Sometimes they look childish. I use just one SNS, Kakao talk, because it is the most famous messenger through Smartphone. All of my friends use it instead of text message when they want to send text. Its fare is free. I can upload my photo on it. It is a good way to show my emotion and feeling to other people. Furthermore, I can make a chat room to talk with friends. I send just one message to friends when I want to give some news to them by making a chat room. That’s why it is more comfortable than text message. I love to take photos of my food. When I eat good food, I like to share it with my friends so that they can see what kind of good food I am eating. I think there are advantage and disadvantage to use SNS.
튜터 교정 답변

Hello Jake! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and stories about SNS. Here are your corrections. ^_^

 

I don’t enjoy using SNS like Facebook and Twitter because I don’t like it when someone that I don’t know can invade my privacy easily. Also, I think people just use SNS only to kill time. Some of my friends waste their time giggling while seeing stupid contents through SNS. Sometimes, they look childish. I use just one SNS, Kakao talk, because it is the most famous messenger through Smartphone. All of my friends use it instead of text message when they want to send text. Its free. I can upload my photo on it. It is a good way to show my emotions and feelings to other people. Furthermore, I can make a chat room and talk with friends. I will just send a message to my friends when I want to give them some news by making a chat room. That’s why it is more convenient than text messaging. I love to take photos of my food. When I eat good food, I like to share it with my friends so that they can see what kind of good food I am eating. I think there are advantage and disadvantage of using SNS.

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