목록으로 돌아가기
공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 07. 26 조회 14621

travel in country

작성자: 1100909546 담당 튜터: Sandy2
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
It’s too far to go on a trip to the beach from my place, I usually take a trip at DaeCheong-lake. DaeCheong-lake made by DaeCheong-Dam where a barrier constructed across a waterway of GeumGang river.

It’s too hard to get there by walk from my place, I usually drive there. At that place, I usually walked along the edge of the lake. There are some parks where good place to have an outdoor’s activities. I also may camp there. Especially, when I visit DaeCheong-Dam at night, I can see the beautiful night view.

In the spring, the LOHAS festival is held. So many event is held and famous singer comes at that place, so I usually attend and have a great time.
I think, DaeCheong-lake is the best place that I requently visit because I feel to relax and relieve stress.
튜터 교정 답변

It’s too far to go on a trip to the beach from my place, I usually take a trip at DaeCheong-lake.
=> It’s too far to go on a trip to the beach from my place, I usually take a trip at the DaeCheong-lake. 


DaeCheong-lake made by DaeCheong-Dam where a barrier constructed across a waterway of GeumGang river.
=> 
DaeCheong-lake is made by DaeCheong-Dam where there's a barrier constructed across a waterway of GeumGang river. 

It’s too hard to get there by walk from my place, I usually drive there.
=> 
It’s too hard to get there by walk from my place, I usually drive going there. 

At that place, I usually walked along the edge of the lake. 
=> 
At that place, I usually walked along the edge of the lake. 

There are some parks where good place to have an outdoor’s activities.
=> 
There are some parks where are good places to have an outdoor’s activities. 

I also may camp there. Especially, when I visit DaeCheong-Dam at night, I can see the beautiful night view.
=> Correct Sentence

In the spring, the LOHAS festival is held.

=> Correct Sentence

So many event is held and famous singer comes at that place, so I usually attend and have a great time. 
=> So, many events is are held and a famous singer comes at that place, so I usually attend and have a great time. 

I think, DaeCheong-lake is the best place that I requently visit because I feel to relax and relieve stress.
=> I think, DaeCheong-lake is the best place that I frequently visit because I feel to relaxed and stress relieved.

[Comment]

Hello Daniel!

Everybody has a favorite place they like to go to again and again. Just like you, you visit DaeCheong-lake to enjoy. It is the place on earth where you feel happy and relaxed. With a busy schedule, one of the best ways to relax and relieve stress is by going on a travel. It is a way to have fun with friends and family. ​Life is not strictly about work only, it can be mixed with pleasure. 

Enjoy the rest of the day!

-T. Sandy-

 

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!