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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 08. 12 조회 13260

Office Description

작성자: 1100909135 담당 튜터: Angel
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Theses days, my company offices in Seoul got together at one point in Jamsil which is hot place of business and entertainment in center of Seoul. My new office consists of 2 big building. Those are 20 stories twin building. We call them "East Campus", "West Campus". Campared to basement, East Campus has Cafeteria which is for all of the employees. On the other hand, West Campus has health club and Auditorium. And Most of each East Campus's floors are offic. but West Campus is mixed of Many functional spaces such as library, idea center, lounge and many offices. Two buildings are built recently so outside appearance and inside interial are very refined and brand new. I love new my office, buildings and facilites
튜터 교정 답변

"Theses days, my company offices in Seoul got together at one point in Jamsil which is hot place of business and entertainment in center of Seoul. My new office consists of 2 big building. Those are 20 stories twin building. We call them "East Campus", "West Campus". Campared to basement, East Campus has Cafeteria which is for all of the employees. On the other hand, West Campus has health club and Auditorium. And Most of each East Campus's floors are offic. but West Campus is mixed of Many functional spaces such as library, idea center, lounge and many offices. Two buildings are built recently so outside appearance and inside interial are very refined and brand new. I love new my office, buildings and facilites"

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Theses days, my company offices in Seoul got together at one point in Jamsil which is hot place of business and entertainment in center of Seoul. My new office consists of 2 big building. Those are 20 stories twin building. We call them "East Campus", "West Campus". Campared to basement, East Campus has Cafeteria which is for all of the employees. On the other hand, West Campus has health club and Auditorium. And Most of each East Campus's floors are offic. but West Campus is mixed of Many functional spaces such as library, idea center, lounge and many offices. Two buildings are built recently so outside appearance and inside interial are very refined and brand new. I love new my office, buildings and facilites

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These days, my company offices in Seoul got together at one point in Jamsil which is a hot place for business and entertainment in the center of Seoul. It consists of 2 big buildings with 20 stories each. We call them "East Campus" and "West Campus". Compared to the West Campus, the East Campus has a cafeteria which is for all of the employees. On the other hand, West Campus has a health club and auditorium. Most of East Campus's floors are offices, but West Campus is mixed of many functional spaces such as library, idea center, lounge and many offices. The two buildings were just built recently, so the exterior and interior are still very refined and brand new. I love my new office buildings and facilities.

Note:
Blue - additionals
Orange - conjunction
Violet - sentence structure
Red - spelling, punctuation and capitalization
Pink - word usage
Yellow - verb tenses
Green - pronoun, articles, and prepositions

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Hi Mr. Won,

I was amazed on how you put your thoughts into words. I really appreciated your effort to construct good sentences. Lapses were note. Kindly check my corrections for you to be aware of your weaknesses. Remember to put proper punctuation when you write. It regulates the flow of your ideas. Study hard! Have a pleasant day!

Love,
Teacher Angel

 

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