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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 08. 20 조회 12423

I write about watcing sports

작성자: 1102084903 담당 튜터: Monica
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I love to watch a sports game but I have never seen a game on site. However I have a unforgettable game I watched when I was eighteen years old. At 2002 World Cup season, I watched my first soccer game in front of city hall with my friends on the big TV. It was the game against Italy. There were many people rooting for korea. My friends and I also pulled for korea. It was so exciting to cheer for our team loudly. It was very fun to be a part of the crowd. Because Winner of the game was korea, My friends and I felt happy. It is a very exciting memory to remember now.
튜터 교정 답변

 

[C O R R E C T I O N]

I love to watch a sports game but I have never seen a game on site.

-> I love to watch a sports game but I have never seen a live game on site.

However I have a unforgettable game I watched when I was eighteen years old.

-> However I had an unforgettable game experience I watched when I was eighteen years old.

At 2002 World Cup season, I watched my first soccer game in front of city hall with my friends on the big TV.

-> At In 2002 World Cup Season, I watched my first soccer game in front of the city hall with my friends on the big TV screen.

It was the game against Italy. - GOOD!

There were many people rooting for korea.

->There were many people rooting for Korea.  - GOOD!

My friends and I also pulled for korea.

-> My friends and I also pulled for Korea.

It was so exciting to cheer for our team loudly. - GOOD!

It was very fun to be a part of the crowd.  - GOOD!

Because Winner of the game was korea, My friends and I felt happy.

-> Because Winner of the game was korea, My friends and I felt happy because the Korean won the game.

It is a very exciting memory to remember now.

-> It was a very exciting memory to remember now.

 

[C O M M E N T]

Hi Moon! Watching sport games are really fun especially if you are supporting your own team. I am glad to know that you were able to experience watching a game but it will be more fun if you'll be able to watch it live. Thank you for sharing this with me. Have a good night! ^_^

-T. Monica

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