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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 08. 27 조회 12483

The park in the neighborhood

작성자: 1101875579 담당 튜터: Meril
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Meril: ) thank to answer my English composition.
I keep going to eager studying English!!

You indicated that you go to parks in our survey. Please descrive the park often visit for me.

I have moved my new house last December. One of the advantage is theat it has many facility araound.
I usually go to the park in the neighborhood for excercising every sunday night. I can see many trees follwing the path and my people doing excercise.
In the day, many families enjoy their picnic on the grassy area of the park. They look like happy and rexed and mamy child play on the fountain.
Everything in the park is well maintained and it is very clean. So, there are always crowded with people: )
튜터 교정 답변

Meril: ) thank to answer my English composition.

-> Meril: ) Thanks to for your answer to my English composition. 

I keep going to eager studying English!!

-> I keep going to am always eager to studying English!! 

You indicated that you go to parks in our survey. Please descrive the park often visit for me. 

-> You indicated that you go to parks in our survey. Please describe the park you often visit for me. 

I have moved my new house last December.

-> I have moved into my new house last December. 

One of the advantage is theat it has many facility araound. I usually go to the park in the neighborhood for excercising every sunday night. 

-> One of the its advantages is that it has many facilities. around. I usually go to the park in the neighborhood for excercising every sunday night. 

I can see many trees follwing the path and my people doing excercise. In the day, many families enjoy their picnic on the grassy area of the park. 

-> I can see many trees following the path and my people doing excercise. In the day, many families enjoy their picnic on the grassy area of the park. 

They look like happy and rexed and mamy child play on the fountain. Everything in the park is well maintained and it is very clean. 

-> They look like happy and relaxed and many children play on the fountain. Everything in the park is well maintained and it is very clean. 

So, there are always crowded with people: )

-> So, there are it is always crowded with people: )

 

Hi Song, thank you for this composition. You shared with me your neighborhood and the park you like to visit. I envy you. In my case, the park is far from our house. It is inconvenient for me to go there often. I go to the park maybe once in a month with my family. I'll see you in class later!

 

-Meril

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