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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 08. 27 조회 13462

Unit3: about your family

작성자: HCC200902319 담당 튜터: Wynston2
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Do you like to visit your hometown on traditional holidays? Yes, I do. I have been away from my home since I became a highschool student. It has been more than 20 years since then and I became a father in the mean time. Even my memories about my hometown have been weaker over time, I still love to visit my hometown on such traditional holidays as New year's day and Korean thanksgiving days. It is because I could meet my family and get together in one place.


What do you feel when you visit your hometown? Actually,I am more familiar with where I live now than my hometown but it reminds me of my old days when I visit my hometown. As you know, hometown is where I was born and thus must be one place for everyone. That's I think it is so special for everyone even though some don't have not much time there.
튜터 교정 답변

Do you like to visit your hometown on traditional holidays? Yes, I do. I have been away from my home since I became a highschool student. It has been more than 20 years since then and I became a father in the mean time. Even my memories about my hometown have been weaker over time, I still love to visit my hometown on such traditional holidays as New year's day and Korean thanksgiving days. It is because I could meet my family and get together in one place. What do you feel when you visit your hometown? Actually,I am more familiar with where I live now than my hometown but it reminds me of my old days when I visit my hometown. As you know, hometown is where I was born and thus must be one place for everyone. That's I think it is so special for everyone even though some don't have not much time there.

Jun -- this was supposed to have been written as a paragraph, similar to the 'sample answer' in the unit.  Next time, remove the question, and write an ongoing paragraph.  This will demonstrate your skills in presenting your ideas grammatically on paper.  Nicely written -- Teacher Wilson

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I enjoy visiting my hometown on traditional holidays!  It has been twenty years since I moved away as a high school student, and my memories of where I grew up have grown weaker over time. Now I am married and have a young child, and we all visit my family whom we love to get together with on New Year's, and Korean Thanksgiving days.  Though it is a special place for me and reminds me of my good old days as a youth, nowadays I don't have much time to spend there.  In fact, I am more familiar with where I currently live.

 

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