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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 09. 03 조회 13261

UNIT10:Part 6 (My answer)

작성자: pos500383 담당 튜터: Wynston1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I disagree tith the statement that companies should raise the retirement age these days. Because there are some reasons why I think these.
Firstly, Most people worked hard during all their life. Some people has been working for 30 years or 40 years. So, They have to enjoy their remaining life.
Secondly, It is not enough to share limited offered job between young worker and senior worker.
튜터 교정 답변

I disagree tith with the statement that companies should raise the retirement age these days. Because there are some reasons why I think these. Firstly, M most people worked hard during their entire all their life!  Some people has have been working for 30 years or 40 plus years. So,T they have to enjoy their remaining remainder of their life. Secondly, (It is not enough to share limited offered job between young worker and senior worker) - <--- I'm not quite certain the of the idea you're expressing here.  It needs further clarification.

 

*** But not to worry Sam ...

**This writing summary gives me an idea of the amount of effort we'll require to advance our Wnglish Language Skills.  You made a god faith effort!  

- Teacher Wynston -

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!