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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 09. 12 조회 13148

I like to go to the concert!

작성자: 1101875579 담당 튜터: Meril
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I was born in family who love music. My mom like to listen to music. So, the sound of music always filled our house.It is natural for me to fall in love with music. However the biggest trigger that made me get interested in a concert was a very popular musician in the world whe I was a unversity student. Jason Mraz was the most popular star at the time. He always had a concert when his album was relreased. Whenever he held world tour concert, He came in Korea and I went to there to see him. There was also very unique thing about his concert. His performing made me feel like a part of the concert. He lately released his new album. It is exciting to start his tour for the concert.
튜터 교정 답변

I was born in family who love music.

⇒ I was born in a family who loves music. 

My mom like to listen to music.

⇒ My mom likes to listen to music. 

So, the sound of music always filled our house. 

⇒ So, the sound of music always fills our house. 

It is natural for me to fall in love with music.

⇒ Correct Sentence!

However the biggest trigger that made me get interested in a concert was a very popular musician in the world whe I was a unversity student.

⇒ However, the biggest trigger that made me get interested in a concert was a very popular musician in the world when I was a University student.

Jason Mraz was the most popular star at the time.

⇒ Correct Sentence!

He always had a concert when his album was relreased.

⇒ He always held holds a concert when his albums was are relreased. 

Whenever he held world tour concert, He came in Korea and I went to there to see him. 

⇒ Whenever he held holds a world tour concert, he always comes in to Korea and I always went go to there to see him. 

There was also very unique thing about his concert.

⇒ There was also a very unique thing about his concert. 

His performing made me feel like a part of the concert.

⇒ His performance made me feel like a part of the concert. 

He lately released his new album.

⇒He lately recently released his new album. 

It is exciting to start his tour for the concert.

⇒ Correct Sentence!

 

Hi Song, Thank you for writing to me again. I am happy that you seem to enjoy Jason Mraz's music. In my case, I also likes his songs, they are meaningful and full of emotions. My favorite is "I'm Yours". I think that is his best song ever. See you later in class!

 

-Meril

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