목록으로 돌아가기
공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 09. 15 조회 12913

play games

작성자: 1100885033 담당 튜터: Mae
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I like to play games on my Smartphone and tablet like ipad. The most popular game these days is Clash of clans.
Korean people like strategy simulation game such as startcraft, warcraft, and so on.
Also, Clash of clans is popular with many people in korea. because it started huge advertisement using cable tv show, transport advertising and so on.
It was just 5 month ago. These days, It is easy to see playing the clash of clans.
Clash of clans is an epic combat strategy game.
Build and defend my village, and dominate the realm and battle with thousands of players across the world.

I like to play it on my phone or ipad because I can play it on my commute to work.
It is very convenient to play it on my phone than my big laptop.
The game is really fun these days and you can see many people playing it on the subway.
The game is really awesome. There is about nothing better!
튜터 교정 답변

I like to play games on my Smartphone and tablet like ipad. The most popular game these days is Clash of clans. Korean people like strategy simulation game such as startcraft, warcraft, and so on. -> GOOD SENTENCE

Also, Clash of clans is popular with many people in korea. because it started huge advertisement using cable tv show, transport advertising and so on. It was just 5 month ago.

->Also, Clash of clans is popular with many people in Korea because it started with huge advertisement using cable tv show, transport advertising and so on. It was just 5 month ago.

These days, It is easy to see playing the clash of clans. Clash of clans is an epic combat strategy game. Build and defend my village, and dominate the realm and battle with thousands of players across the world. I like to play it on my phone or ipad because I can play it on my commute to work.

->These days, It is easy to see playing the clash of clans. Clash of clans is an epic combat strategy game. Build and defend my village, and dominate the realm and battle with thousands of players across the world. I like to play it on my phone or ipad because I can play it while commuting to work.

It is very convenient to play it on my phone than my big laptop. The game is really fun these days and you can see many people playing it on the subway. The game is really awesome. There is about nothing better!

->It is very convenient to play on my phone than my big laptop. The game is really fun these days and you can see many people playing it on the subway. The game is really awesome. There is about nothing better!

 

Hi,

Your sentences are almost perfect. Thank you for sharing again. Have a nice day!

 Teacher Mae

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!