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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 10. 06 조회 15079

Presentation materials_Introduction part

작성자: 1102055849 담당 튜터: Wynston2
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Introduction Part;

Hello, Everyone. I am glad to have an opportunity to present regarding hospitality and ICT today. My name is Kyung eun Hwang working on ST department at Samsung SDS. Before I start this presentation, I would like to give you a brief introduction regarding the topic and target audience, and objectives of this presentation.
The main topic is the Hospitality and ICT incorporation, and the developer and consultants are the target audiences. As per my research for the attendees, they are not familiar with the Hospitality and have no experience of this type of project. Therefore my goal is to deliver the concept of the hospitality to them which they need to be aware of for the future project. and I want to give them an impression that Our company has great capabilities as the ICT consultant and solution provider.
튜터 교정 답변

Introduction Part;

GOOD MORNING (OR - GREETINGS) TO EVERYONE!  MY NAME IS KYUNG EUNHWANG, AND I AM THE SENIOR ENGINEER IN THE SMART TOWN DEPARTMENT AT SAMSUNG SDS. 

I VERY MUCH APPRECIATE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO PROVIDE YOU A BRIEF PRESENTATION ON THE SUBJECT OF HOSPITALITY AND ICT (INFORMATION, COMMUNICATION AND TECHNOLOGY) INCORPORATION, WHICH TARGET AUDIENCE ARE THOSE AMONG YOU, WHO ARE DEVELPERS AND CONSULTANTS.  FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NOT FAMILIAR WITH HOSPITALITY, AND HAVE NO EXPERIENCE OF THIS TYPE OF PROJECT, MY GOAL IS TO ASSURE YOU THAT OUR COMPANY (NAME THE COMPANY) HAS GREAT CAPABILITIES TO BE YOUR ICT CONSULTANT, AND SOLUTION PROVIDER.

(THIS PRESENTATION SHOULD BE SHORT, SWEET, AND STRAIGHT TO THE POINT)!

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Hello, Everyone. I am glad to have an opportunity to present regarding hospitality and ICT today. My name is Kyung eun Hwang working on ST department at Samsung SDS. Before I start this presentation, I would like to give you a brief introduction regarding the topic and target audience, and objectives of this presentation. The main topic is the Hospitality and ICT incorporation, and the developer and consultants are the target audiences. As per my research for the attendees, they are not familiar with the Hospitality and have no experience of this type of project. Therefore my goal is to deliver the concept of the hospitality to them which they need to be aware of for the future project. and I want to give them an impression that Our company has great capabilities as the ICT consultant and solution provider.

 

KYUNG ... WE'LL DISCUSS THIS TOMORROW, SO WE CAN CLARIFY ANYTHING NOT QUITE UNDERSTOOD ...

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!