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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 10. 17 조회 12634

Listen to Music

작성자: 118406 담당 튜터: Wynston2
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
There are so many groups and single singers in Korea, so I cannot distinguish who is who.
But I like some singers such as Mr. Cho Yong-Pil. He was not one of the most popular youngsters, but one of the most popular stars dozens of years ago. I think his song is romantic and has a passion, vigor and soul. I recall some girl group who were famous dozens of years ago.
In these days there are many famous Korean girl groups and boy groups singing and dancing.
There are called K-Pop stars. Many teenager young K-Pop stars are not only famous in Asian Countries like Japan, China, Philiphine but also famous in all over the world. This symptom is called "Hanryu". I don't know why other countries' people like their songs and performances. I think their services are not only made of Korean origin but also a mixture of global one, so their values are globalized.
튜터 교정 답변

There are so many groups and single singers in Korea, so I cannot distinguish who is who, but I like some singers such as Mr. Cho Yong-Pil. He was not one of the most popular youngsters, but one of the most popular stars dozens of years ago. I think his songS is ARE romantic and has HAVE a passion, vigor and soul. I recall some girl group who were famous dozens of years ago. In these NOWAdays there are many famous Korean girl groups and boy groups singing and dancing. There THEY are called K-Pop stars. Many teenager young K-Pop stars are not only famous in Asian Countries like Japan, China, THE PhiliphineS, but also famous in all over the world. This symptom is called "Hanryu". I don't know why other countries people IN OTHER COUNTRIES like their songs and performances. I think THAT WHILE their services SONGS, RHYTHMS AND MELODIES are not only made of Korean origin, THERE APPEARS TO BE A UNIVERSAL APPRECIATION FOR THEIR VALUE AND SENTIMENT ACROSS THE GLOBE. but also a mixture of global one, so their values are globalized.

***ALVIN -- YOU WILL NOTE THAT I ADDED AN INFUSION OF VOCABULARY (BY USING THE THESAURUS) ... TO FURTHER EXPRESS YOUR THEME.  ALTOGETHER, VERY WELL UNDERSTOOD!

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