목록으로 돌아가기
공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 10. 17 조회 14644

Work

작성자: 1102045838 담당 튜터: Lovely
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I work for Samsung SDS which is located in Suwon.
My company headquarter is located in Seoul
My company was established in 1985 and has been growing steadily since then.
My company has led Korea’s IT industry since 1985.
Samsung SDS serves system integration, IT services and ICT services.
Further my company has developed the telecommunication system to access to faster Internet or communication server.
Samsung SDS will continue to be a friendly and smart global company and I’m so proud to be working for the best company

Time was gone quickly.
I received E-mail with serious issue today morning.
I worked hard to solve it.
Fortunately I came back home after analyzing about that problem.
But I wasn’t clear.
I will try to solve that problem next Monday.
I am going to Seoul for training tomorrow.
I have to arrive at 9 A.M and I get education for 12 hours.
And I have English class for OPIC test from 7:00 PM to 10:30 PM next week
튜터 교정 답변

I work for Samsung SDS which is located in Suwon. My company headquarter is located in Seoul My company was established in 1985 and has been growing steadily since then. My company has led Korea’s IT industry since 1985. Samsung SDS serves system integration, IT services and ICT services. Further my company has developed the telecommunication system to access to faster Internet or communication server. Samsung SDS will continue to be a friendly and smart global company and I’m so proud to be working for the best company Time was gone quickly. I received E-mail with serious issue today morning. I worked hard to solve it. Fortunately I came back home after analyzing about that problem. But I wasn’t clear. I will try to solve that problem next Monday. I am going to Seoul for training tomorrow. I have to arrive at 9 A.M and I get education for 12 hours. And I have English class for OPIC test from 7:00 PM to 10:30 PM next week

1.  I work for Samsung SDS which is located in Suwon.  Good job! smiley

2. My company headquarter is located in Seoul. -> Good job or BETTER SAY -> My company's headquarter is located in Seoul.

3. My company was established in 1985 and has been growing steadily since then. Good job! smiley

4.  My company has led Korea’s IT industry since 1985. -> Good job! smiley

5. Samsung SDS serves system integration, IT services and ICT services. -> Good job! smiley

6. Further my company has developed the telecommunication system to access to faster Internet or communication server. -> My company has further developed the telecommunication system to access faster Internet or communication server.

7. Samsung SDS will continue to be a friendly and smart global company and I’m so proud to be working for the best company. Good job! smiley

8. Time was gone quickly. -> Time has gone quickly.

9. I received E-mail with serious issue today morning. -> I received an E-mail with a serious issue this morning.

10. I worked hard to solve it. Good job! smiley

11. Fortunately I came back home after analyzing about that problem. -> Good job! smiley

12. But I wasn’t clear. Good job! smiley

13. I will try to solve that problem next Monday. Good job! smiley

14. I am going to Seoul for training tomorrow. or BETTER SAY ->I will try to solve that problem next Monday because I am going to Seoul for training tomorrow.

15. I have to arrive at 9 A.M and I get education for 12 hours. -> I have to arrive at 9 A.M and I will have a training for 12 hours.

16. And I have English class for OPIC test from 7:00 PM to 10:30 PM next week . ->  And then I will have an English class for OPIC test from 7:00 PM to 10:30 PM next week.

Hi!

Well done! I know your proud to be part of your company and I'm also proud of you! Good job! Keep on practicing to improve your writing skills. Be careful in using verbs and articles. Widening the vocabulary would help you improve your compositions and express your thoughts thoroughly.  ;-)

-Teacher Lovey

 

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!