Self-introduction
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
My name is Jay. I'm 30's mid. My family is my wife and a adorable dauther.
I got married 4 years ago. I live in Bu-Cheon Kyung-Ki-Do which is west of Seoul.
I moved 2 years ago. My parents and parents-in-law live near by my home. So we often visit to parents and parents-in-law's house and we have a good time. But my company is far from my house. So everyday I travle to company which is at Suwon. It takes about 3 hours to get there and back. I work at MES Operation group department in Samsung SDS. I am system programer. MES is manufacturing execution system. MES is very important in manufacturing field. Nowdays If there is not MES, any production cannot be made in factory. So I have pride of my job. MES is running for 24 hours. Therefore our department always be too busy. On weekday when I come back home,the time is about 10 PM. I don't have time to spend with my familly. So. on weekend I effort to spend time with my familly.
I got married 4 years ago. I live in Bu-Cheon Kyung-Ki-Do which is west of Seoul.
I moved 2 years ago. My parents and parents-in-law live near by my home. So we often visit to parents and parents-in-law's house and we have a good time. But my company is far from my house. So everyday I travle to company which is at Suwon. It takes about 3 hours to get there and back. I work at MES Operation group department in Samsung SDS. I am system programer. MES is manufacturing execution system. MES is very important in manufacturing field. Nowdays If there is not MES, any production cannot be made in factory. So I have pride of my job. MES is running for 24 hours. Therefore our department always be too busy. On weekday when I come back home,the time is about 10 PM. I don't have time to spend with my familly. So. on weekend I effort to spend time with my familly.
튜터 교정 답변
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