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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 10. 27 조회 12844

Unit 16 - Hobbies / Mobile,Video Game

작성자: HWMC201200797 담당 튜터: Wynston2
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I played computer game very much when I was a student. I always went to game room with my friends. At that time, I don't have a concrete object for my future. So, I addicted to games. Now, since I'm working in a company, I don't have enough time to play games on weekdays. I usually play computer game on weekend for 4~5 hours. That's why I don't have a girlfriend. I like girls, but my background is very hard to meet girls, so I have to try to meet grils. But I don't try. It's a problem for me. I play a computer game only, not a console. I don't have a console machine such as XBOX and PlayStation. If I buy a console, I will play with that too many times. Therefore, I will never buy that.
튜터 교정 답변

I played computer gameS very much when I was a student. I always went to game roomS with my friends. At that time, I don't DIDN'T have a concrete objectIVE for my future, so, I WAS addicted to games. Now, since I'm working FULL TIME in a company, I don't have enough time to play games on weekdays, BUT I DO I usually play computer gameS on weekendS for 4~5 hours. That's why I don't have a girlfriend. I like girls, but my background CURRENT LIFESTYLE MAKES IT DIFFICULT is very hard to meet THEM. girls, so I have to try to meet grils. But I FEEL THAT I NEED TO I don't try . It's a problem for me. I play a computer game only, not a console. I don't have a console machine such as XBOX and PlayStation. If I buy a console, I will play with that too many times. Therefore, I will never buy that.

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