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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 10. 28 조회 13717

Jogging

작성자: 119846 담당 튜터: Wynston1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Dear Wynston

Mr.Wynston.
I heard that you are jogging as fast as or more fast than younger people.
Even more stunning myself was that you are sixty years old man.
It was a surprise because I could feel energy from your voice that could not be experienced generally from other people around your age.
Even I reminded hollywood super stars who stay in good shape.
You know, I drink often and smoke over twenty years.
Nowadays, I think I am taking good influences from you like values for health, life and happiness.
I think I need to change.

My best regards,
Jongmoo Lee.
튜터 교정 답변

Dear Wynston Mr.Wynston. I heard you told me that you are jogging as fast as, or more faster than younger people younger than you. Even more stunning, myself was that you are over the age of sixty! years old man. THE ENERGY I DISTINGUISHED FROM THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE IS NOT GENERALLY TYPICAL OF It was a surprise because I could feel energy from your voice that could not be experienced generally from other people around your age. IN FACT, I WAS VERY SURPRISED!  Even IT reminded  ME OF h=Hollywood super stars who stay in good shape. You know, I drink often and HAVE smokeD FOR over twenty years. Nowadays,  BASED ON YOUR HIGH REGARD AND VALUE FOR HEALTH, FITNESS HAPPINESS AND PEAE OF MIND, THESE DAYS, I AM STRONGLY CONSIDERING MAKING A LIFESTYLE CHANGE.  think I am taking good influences from you like values for health, life and happiness. I think I need to change MY CURRENT HABITS. My best regards, Jongmoo Lee.

==============================================  *** JAMES --- I DIDN'T CORRECT IT INITIALLY, BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS A PERSONAL LETTER TO ME, AND DID NOT WANT TO ALTER THE ORIGINAL THOUGHTS YOU WERE ATTEMPTING TO CONVEY.

***James, I very much appreciate your vote of confidence.  I too smoked for 18 years, and then quit since 1984.  I an pleased that I can be a positive influence to you.  When  the time arrives ... you will know within your heart it is the right time to make a change for health!

Best regards ... Wynston

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