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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 03. 04 조회 11583

My Introduction

작성자: 119198 담당 튜터: Leah2
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Hi, my name is Jihyun, and I'm 44 years old. I have lived in Seoul since I got my first job after graduating from Ewha university where I studied commerce with a specialization in computer science. I'm married and have two wonderful children. My sons are 11, 13. They keep my househelper and me very busy. As a family, we try to spend as much time together as possible.I have been working as a system integration team leader at Samsung SDS for the past 20 years and really enjoy my job. My main role as team leader is to facilitate the exchange ideas and concepts between team members and to make presentations to the manager on specific system integrations that we have been assigned
튜터 교정 답변
Hi, my name is Jihyun, and I'm 44 years old. I have lived in Seoul since I got my first job after I graduated from Ewha University where I studied commerce with a specialization in Computer Science. I'm married and I have two wonderful children. My sons are 11 and 13. They help their mother to do the household chores because I'm very busy. As a family, we try to spend as much time together as possible.I have been working as a system integration team leader at Samsung SDS for the past 20 years and I really enjoy my job. My main role as a team leader is to facilitate the exchange ideas and concepts between team members and to make presentations to the manager on specific system integrations that we have been assigned.
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