Bank
It is one of the biggest banks in Korea.
All banks in Korea open for business at 9:00 in the morning and close at 4:00 in the afternoon.
When I go there, first I can see several automated teller machines in front of entrance.
And many bank tellers work there, they wear uniform.
There are a lot of newspaper and magazine for customer to read.
I can also see a security guard to help people.
All workers in the bank I often go to is very kind and friendly.
In summer, there can be the best rest spot because of always cool
And there can be used for appointment place
I sometimes go to a bank called Woori-Bank. It is one of the biggest banks in Korea. All banks in Korea open for business at 9:00 in the morning and close at 4:00 in the afternoon. When I go there, first I can see several automated teller machines in front of entrance. And many bank tellers work there, they wear uniform. There are a lot of newspaper and magazine for customer to read. I can also see a security guard to help people. All workers in the bank I often go to is very kind and friendly. In summer, there can be the best rest spot because of always cool And there can be used for appointment place
1. I sometimes go to a bank called Woori-Bank. -> I sometimes go to the bank named Woori-Bank.
2. It is one of the biggest banks in Korea. GOOD JOB ON THIS! 
3. All banks in Korea open for business at 9:00 in the morning and close at 4:00 in the afternoon. GOOD JOB ON THIS!
4. When I go there, first I can see several automated teller machines in front of entrance. -> Whenever I go there, the first thing I see are the several automated teller machines in front of entrance.
5. And many bank tellers work there, they wear uniform. -> Many bank tellers work there and they wear uniform.
6. There are a lot of newspaper and magazine for customer to read. -> There are a lot of newspapers and magazines that customers can read.
7. I can also see a security guard to help people. -> I can also see a security guard that helps people.
8. All workers in the bank I often go to is very kind and friendly. -> All workers in the bank that I often approach are very kind and friendly.
9. In summer, there can be the best rest spot because of always cool -> In summer, it can be the best rest spot because it's always cool in there.
10. And there can be used for appointment place -> And it can be set as an appointment place.
Hi Kent,
Kudos! You have expressed your thoughts well, you have also composed good sentences that would speak your mind regarding the topic. Just be careful when using the correct adverbs, prepositions and linking verbs. Keep up the good work! :-)