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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 11. 18 조회 13679

IPO

작성자: 119846 담당 튜터: Wynston1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Our company listed on korea stock market last friday for the first time after company established. Many of my colleagues was hit by millions of bucks. Most of them are ten or more years old in this company.
I had a drink with one of them last friday. And I had stunned after founding that he had no challeges or dream with that money. He just wanted to raise their children with a good education.
And he just wanted to stay in this company, because he doesn't have anything to do at present. And he doesn't want to get other's eyes that he is a jobless even he is a millionaire.
Oh! my!
튜터 교정 답변

Our company WAS listed on THE KoreaN stock market last friday for the first time after SINCE THE  company WAS established. Many of my colleagues (WHO HAVE TENURED MORE THAN TEN YEARS WITH THE COMPANY) EXPERIENCED A WINDFALL OF HUGE SUMS OF MONEY! was hit by millions of bucks. Most of them are ten or more years old in this company. I had a drink with one of them last Friday, and AS WE SOCIALIZED, THEY SHARED WITH ME A STUNNING REVELATION, THAT THEY HAD NO PLANS OR ASPIRATIONS IN THE NEAR OR REMOTE FUTURE ON WHAT THEY WOULD DO WITH THE FUNDS! I had stunned after founding that he had no challeges or dream with that money. ALL THEY HAVE IN MIND IS He just wanted to raise their children AND PROVIDE THEM with a good education. FURTHERMORE, THEY ARE OPTING TO REMAIN COMPANY EMPLOYEES, And he just wanted to stay in this company, because he doesn't have anything to do at present. And he doesn't  AS THE DO NOT want to APAPEAR IN THE PUBLIC EYE AS  get other's eyes that he is a jobless ...  even THOUGH TheY is a ARE  millionaireS. Oh my!

 

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