traditional holidays
On Lunar New Year’s Day, the whole families and relatives gather to bow to each other and adults give their children some money gift and they have ceremonies to pay respect to their ancestors.
And then they eat Korean traditional food, 떡국.
It is rice cake soup.
After that, people go to bow to the elderly who live in neighbor.
And they enjoy playing a Korean traditional card game called Go-Stop.
It is the most popular card game with simple rules.
Koreans spend time playing Korean traditional folk game such as 씨름, 윷놀이, 널뛰기, 재기차기 and so on
On Chuseok, Koreans gather also at hometown.
They eat Korean rice cake called 송편.
Nowadays, there are some people to travel abroad in holidays.
In Korea, there are 2 major holidays, Lunar New Year’s Day and Chuseok, Korean Thanksgiving day. On Lunar New Year’s Day, the whole families and relatives gather to bow to each other and adults give their children some money gift and they have ceremonies to pay respect to their ancestors. And then they eat Korean traditional food, 떡국. It is rice cake soup. After that, people go to bow to the elderly who live in neighbor. And they enjoy playing a Korean traditional card game called Go-Stop. It is the most popular card game with simple rules. Koreans spend time playing Korean traditional folk game such as 씨름, 윷놀이, 널뛰기, 재기차기 and so on On Chuseok, Koreans gather also at hometown. They eat Korean rice cake called 송편. Nowadays, there are some people to travel abroad in holidays.
1. In Korea, there are 2 major holidays, Lunar New Year’s Day and Chuseok, Korean Thanksgiving day. GOOD JOB ON THIS! 
2. On Lunar New Year’s Day, the whole families and relatives gather to bow to each other and adults give their children some money gift and they have ceremonies to pay respect to their ancestors. -> On Lunar New Year’s Day, the whole families and relatives gather to bow to each other and adults give their children some money and gifts and they will also have ceremonies to pay respect to their ancestors.
3. And then they eat Korean traditional food, 떡국 -> And then they will eat the Korean traditional food, 떡국
4. It is rice cake soup. GOOD JOB ON THIS!
5. After that, people go to bow to the elderly who live in neighbor. -> After that, people will bow to the elderlies who live in neighbor.
6. And they enjoy playing a Korean traditional card game called Go-Stop. GOOD JOB ON THIS!
7. It is the most popular card game with simple rules. GOOD JOB ON THIS!
8. Koreans spend time playing Korean traditional folk game such as 씨름, 윷놀이, 널뛰기, 재기차기 and so on. GOOD JOB ON THIS!
9. On Chuseok, Koreans gather also at hometown. -> On Chuseok, Koreans also gather in their hometown.
10. They eat Korean rice cake called 송편. GOOD JOB ON THIS!
11. Nowadays, there are some people to travel abroad in holidays. -> Nowadays, there are some people who travel abroad in holidays.
Hi Kent,
Good job! You have expressed your thoughts well, you also have less errors this time. Just be careful when using the correct prepositions and appropriate words to make it better. Other than that, you did well so keep up the good work! :-)