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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 12. 12 조회 14031

city life2

작성자: 1102045838 담당 튜터: Lovely
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
People in the city usually enjoy watching movie, watching concert, getting shopping on the weekends.
There are plenty of movie theaters, concert halls and places where people can enjoy something all over the city.
These days, many musicals, performances are being held for citizens in GUNPO-MUISUM because the end of the year.
There is a big festival to enjoy the end of the year in Seoul.
명동 Street in Seoul is filled with people who enjoy the end of the year.
There are also beautiful red, green, yellow light on the trees.
People in the city try to travel to the suburbs to escape from the city life on the weekends.
They get rid of stress by leaving city.
튜터 교정 답변

People in the city usually enjoy watching movie, watching concert, getting shopping on the weekends. There are plenty of movie theaters, concert halls and places where people can enjoy something all over the city. These days, many musicals, performances are being held for citizens in GUNPO-MUISUM because the end of the year. There is a big festival to enjoy the end of the year in Seoul. 명동 Street in Seoul is filled with people who enjoy the end of the year. There are also beautiful red, green, yellow light on the trees. People in the city try to travel to the suburbs to escape from the city life on the weekends. They get rid of stress by leaving city.

1. People in the city usually enjoy watching movie, watching concert, getting shopping on the weekends. -> People in the city usually enjoy watching movie, watching concert, going shopping on weekends.

2. There are plenty of movie theaters, concert halls and places where people can enjoy something all over the city. GOOD JOB! smiley

3. These days, many musicals, performances are being held for citizens in GUNPO-MUISUM because the end of the year. -> These days, many musicals and performances are being held for citizens in GUNPO-MUISUM because it's the end of the year.
4. There is a big festival to enjoy the end of the year in Seoul.  GOOD JOB! smiley

5. 명동 Street in Seoul is filled with people who enjoy the end of the year. GOOD JOB! smiley

6. There are also beautiful red, green, yellow light on the trees. -> There are also beautiful red, green, and yellow lights on the trees.

7. People in the city try to travel to the suburbs to escape from the city life on the weekends. GOOD JOB! smiley

8. They get rid of stress by leaving city.  ->  They get rid of stress by leaving the city.

Hi Kent!

Good job! You were able to express your thoughts in a good composition, the way you have described Seoul shows that it's very interesting. You have less errors this time, so keep up the good work! :-)

-Lovely


 

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