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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 01. 05 조회 14000

Self Introduction

작성자: 1100438910 담당 튜터: Wynston1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Nice to meet you.

My name is Sang hun Im, and my english name is Clark.
I Married last year, and I don't have any children yet.

I work for Samsung SDS, and I have been working for 7 years.
My job is Technical architect, so called TA. It's very interesting job.

My hobby is watching movies. I like watching movies with my wife on weekend.
We like independent movies which is not so famous.




P.S This morning, I said ' I went Ever-land.' and you didn't know what it is.
At that time, I didn't know the word 'amusement park'.
Ever-land is the biggest amusement part in korea. :)
튜터 교정 답변

Nice to meet you.

My name is Sang hun Im, and my English name is Clark. I RECENTLY GOT married last year, and do not have any children. I work AS A TA (TECHNICAL ARCHITECT)  for Samsung SDS, A COMPANY THAT SPECIALIZES IN ICT, AND HAVE BEEN EMPLOYED THERE I have been working for 7 years. My job is Technical architect, so called TA. It's very interesting job. My hobby is watching movies. I like watching movies with my wife on weekendS. We like PREFER independent movies which is ARE NOT PARTICULARLY POPULAR WITH MANY PEOPLE.  not so famous. 

P.S. DURING OUR DIALOGUE This morning I said THAT, 'I went TO Ever-land', and you didn't UNDERSTAND ME. know what it is. At that time, I didn't know the word, 'amusement park'. 'Ever-land' is the biggest amusement part in korea. :)

 

*** CLARK--- A WELL WRITTEN INTRO!  

TAKE NOTE OF THE ADJUSTMENTS MADE TO YOUR SENTENCES.  YOU'LL NOTE THAT THERE WERE RE-ARRANGMENTS DONE, IN ORDER TO ALLOW SMOOTH SEQUENCE OF IDEAS.

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