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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 01. 09 조회 14874

World News #2

작성자: 119846 담당 튜터: Jasmine1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
CES has opened in America. World's high tech companies show off their technologies in this world's biggest high tech expo. The thing that caught my eyes was the flying dron. Dron is a flying machine that can be controlled by wireless controller. It was developed 5 years ago by Amazon. Now it can deliver emergency kits to the accident places, or it can be flied to observe traffic jam on the road. But in Korea, people concern the misuse of drons as for the privacy.
튜터 교정 답변

CES has opened in America. The world's high tech companies show off their technology (sing) at the world's biggest high tech expo. The thing that caught my eye (sing) was the flying drone. A drone is a flying machine that can be controlled by a wireless controller. It was developed 5 years ago by Amazon. Now it can deliver emergency kits to accident sites the accident places, or it can be flown flied to observe traffic jams (pl) on the road. But in Korea, people are concerned about the misuse of drones in terms of as for the privacy.

Drone is spelled with an E

I liked this sentence "it can be flown to observe traffic jams....". This is difficult grammar!
Fly, flew, flown

to be concerned about--You made this mistake in 2 pieces of writing, so I wanted to point it out.
--> The government is concerned about the economic situation.
--> Parents need to be concerned about their children's behavior.

 

 

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