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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 01. 27 조회 12794

Hello. Monica

작성자: 1100105904 담당 튜터: Monica
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Did you have a good weekend?
I went to a concert hall with my daughter to see a musical 'Pinocchio' last Sunday.
The acting and stage facility were good and the music was familiar to us.
So we enjoyed very well.
Futhermoer we could take a picture with actors after the performance.
On my way home, my dauchter kept asking the story with full of joy.
It was great experience for me to share something valuable with my daughter.
From now on, I wll try to get oppotunities like this.
Anyway see you.
튜터 교정 답변

[C O R R E C T I O N]

Did you have a good weekend? -OK!

I went to a concert hall with my daughter to see a musical 'Pinocchio' last Sunday.

-> I went to a concert hall with my daughter to see a musical entitled 'Pinocchio' last Sunday.

The acting and stage facility were good and the music was familiar to us.

-> The acting of the actors and stage facility were good,  and the music was familiar to us.

So we enjoyed very well.

-> So we enjoyed it very well.

Futhermoer we could take a picture with actors after the performance.

-> Futhermore,  we could take a picture with the actors after the performance.

On my way home, my dauchter kept asking the story with full of joy.

-> On my way home, my dauchter kept asking about the story with full of joy.

It was great experience for me to share something valuable with my daughter.

-> It was a great experience for me to share something valuable with my daughter.

From now on, I wll try to get oppotunities like this. -ok!

Anyway, see you!

 

[C O M M E N T]

HI HJ! Thanks for sharing this with me. I like it and I really appreciate your effort in watching musicals. When I was a kid, I used to watch plays with mom. I remembered the times I used to dream and imagine that I were a part of the musicals I've watched. It was really fun!  I hope  you'll have time to watch again next time.

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