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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 02. 03 조회 13695

Unit 44. Appointment 1

작성자: 119239 담당 튜터: Wynston1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Q) What kind of things do you normally do when making an appointment? Tell me about all the steps that you take in order to make an appointment from the beginning to the end.

A) The first thing to make an appointment is to check out my schedule from the cell phone App.
Actually I try to memorize all the important appointments on my Schedule App.
And then I decide when and where to see each other
To decide the place we meet, we tend to consider how many members of them would be attend.
We also consider each member's food taste as well as the circumstances of around the place.
And I make a call to the place that we are supposed to meet together and
ask for the reservation.
Now finally I send the group SMS to members to be attened.


I have a group that we regularly get together.
And actually I am the messenger so I usually give a call to members.
It takes time but I enjoy the proceedings.
튜터 교정 답변

Q) What kind of things do you normally do when making an appointment? Tell me about all the steps that you take in order to make an appointment from the beginning to the end.

A) The first thing THAT I DO to make an appointment is to check out my schedule from the MY cell phone App. Actually, I try to memorize all the OF MY important appointments on my Schedule App. And Then, I decide when, and where, AND WHOM TO MEET.  I ALSO  to see each other To decide the place we meet, we tend to consider how many OTHER PERSONS members of them would be IN attendANCE. ONCE I HAVE DONE THAT, I We also consider each member's CHOICE OF food, taste INCLUDING WHERE WE'LL EAT, SO I CAN MAKE THE NECESSARY RESERVATIONS. as well as the circumstances of around the place And I make a call to the place that we are supposed to meet together and ask for the reservation. Now Finally I'LL send the group AN SMS to CONFIRM OUR APPOINTMENT. members to be attened. I have a group that we regularly get together. And actually I am the messenger so I usually give a call to members. THIS OBVIOUSLY It takes time, but I enjoy the PROCESS!  proceedings.

***FRANCISCO ... AS YOU WILL NOTICE, ALL I DID WAS RESTRUCTURE SOME SENTENCES TO ELIMINATE OVER-WORDING.  I ALSO USED THE THESAURUS AND DICTIONARY TO HELP ME DO THIS.  

OVERALL, THE MAIN CONCEPT OF WHAT YOU WROTE WAS VERY WELL UNDERSTOOD.  WITH MORE PRACTICE, AND A LITTLE TIME, I AM CONFIDENT YOU WILL GET BETTER AND BETTER.  GREAT JOB!

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