Introduce Myself
I'm early thirties and not yet married.
I have girlfriend, and I plan to marry with her next year.
I live in Suwon city from birth with my family.
There is located in near by Seoul City that is capital of Korea.
I have so many family members, grandmother, parents, two elder sisters, and one elder brother and one younger brother.
Sisters and and elder brother are married and have babies.
I majored Computer science in KyoungHee University, and have been working as Software Archtecture in SamsungSDS company.
I usually make computer systems that are used for goverment organizations or various companys.
I like vairous kind of exercise or leisure, especially love to running in the gym.
So I usually attend to marathon twice a year.
My name is Kihun Choi and My NickName is Khun that my foreign friends are calling me.
-> My name is Kihun Choi and my nickname is Khun, that’s how my foreigner friends call me.
I'm early thirties and not yet married. I have girlfriend, and I plan to marry with her next year.
-> I’m in my early thirties now and I’m still single, though I’m planning to marry my girlfriend by next year.
I live in Suwon city from birth with my family. There is located in near by Seoul City that is capital of Korea.
Or you may say:
-> Since birth, I have lived with family in Suwon City near Seoul City, which is the capital of Korea.
I have so many family members, grandmother, parents, two elder sisters, and one elder brother and one younger brother. Sisters and and elder brother are married and have babies.
Or you may say:
-> I have a big family, my parents, my grandmother, and four siblings. Three of my siblings are already married and already have they babies.
I majored Computer science in KyoungHee University, and have been working as Software Archtecture in SamsungSDS company.
Or you may say:
-> I went to Kyoung Hee University and took major in Computer Science. Currently, I have been working as a Software Engineer in Samsung SDS Company.
I usually make computer systems that are used for goverment organizations or various companys.
Or you may say:
-> I usually make computer systems for different government organizations and various companies.
I like vairous kind of exercise or leisure, especially love to running in the gym. So I usually attend to marathon twice a year.
Or you may say:
-> I like doing various kinds of exercises and leisure, most especially, I love going to the gym and do running exercises. For this reason, I usually attend to marathon events twice a year.
Hi Khun,
I really do appreciate that you took time to practice writing a composition. This one is a good try, if you have any questions regarding my corrections, please do not hesitate to send me a reply. Looking forward to hear from you soon. Take care! 
Teacher Nesta (“,)