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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 04. 02 조회 13147

Introduce my self

작성자: 1100775459 담당 튜터: Nesta
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
My name is Kim Seungjin and I am 38 years old. I originally come from Daegu and I moved to Seoul about 10 years ago after I finished a master’s degree. At master’s degree I studied mobile communication and I have been working for an engineering company on the Suwon. I usually work on design software architecture and programing for new software products. It’s a very interesting job and I’ve learned so much since I joined the company.
튜터 교정 답변

My name is Kim Seungjin and I am 38 years old.

-> This sentence is correct.

I originally come from Daegu and I moved to Seoul about 10 years ago after I finished a master’s degree. (parallelism and use pronoun instead of article "a")

-> I originally came from Daegu and I moved to Seoul about 10 years ago after I finished my master’s degree.

At master’s degree I studied mobile communication and I have been working for an engineering company on the Suwon.

-> As my master’s degree, I studied mobile communication and I have been working for an engineering company in Suwon for some time now. (use of preposition and time expression)

I usually work on design software architecture and programing for new software products.

-> I usually work on design software architecture and program/programming for new software products.

It’s a very interesting job and I’ve learned so much since I joined the company.

-> No error in this sentence.

 

 

You did well in this composition and I appreciate the time that you alloted in writing this. I already put some corrections and I hope they'll be helpful in improving your writing skill. Job well done!

                        ^''^
-Teacher Liz (@.@)

 

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!