목록으로 돌아가기
공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 05. 18 조회 13262

trip park jogging

작성자: 1102241791 담당 튜터: Edna1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
First, I find the right place to sightseeing.
I usually take toiletries, some emergency medicines, cosmetics and a couple of colthes. The most important thing is my smartphone and digital camera. Smartphone is useful to find a direction and search good places. And I love to take pictures of the scenery and capture the moment of my family or friends with digital camera.

What I like most about this park is that there are some tandem bicycle which can be rented for 24hours a day. So, I’m able to enjoying date while riding a bicycle with my boyfriend.

There are many items I usually take with me when going on a trip. They depends on how long I am going to travel. I usually bring toiletries, sunscreen and a couple of clothes with me to the my destination.

I like jogging because it helps me keep healthy and feel good.
After had jogging, when I go back home, my feeling is very refreshing.
튜터 교정 답변

First, I find the right place to for sightseeing. I usually take toiletries, some emergency medicines, cosmetics and a couple of clothes colthes. The most important thing is my smartphone and digital camera. Smartphone is useful to find a direction and search good places. And I love to take pictures of the scenery and capture the moment of my family or friends with digital camera. What I like most about this park is that there are some tandem bicycle which can be rented for 24hours a day. So, I’m able to enjoying a date while riding a bicycle with my boyfriend. There are many items I usually take with me when going on a trip. They depends on how long I am going to travel. I usually bring toiletries, sunscreen and a couple of clothes with me to the my destination. I like jogging because it helps me keep healthy and feel good. After had jogging, when I go back home, my feeling is very refreshing.

PS:

Try to focus on just only one subject.

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!