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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 05. 20 조회 13286

looking for the right person

작성자: 119846 담당 튜터: Joselin1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
* Teacher, Please don't hesitate to correct all the words or expressions from me.
* If changing some words could be more natural with not harming my sentence structure, please suggest me. If there are more nice expression, changing whole the structure would be nice.

Hello, this is James with Samsung in Korea.
May I speak to the person in charge of the sales department?
(somebody come out)
Hey, this is James with Samsung in Korea.
We found your company on the Internet.
We were looking for the security camera which will be used for our project in Indonesia.
And it seems like that your products are very fit to our purpose.
But unfortunately, I can't found out the e-mail address of sales representitive.
So, May I ask your email address? I can tell you more about our inquiries.
(after receiving the email address)
OK. thanks a lot. I'll send you a mail right after a minute.
Take it easy. bye.
튜터 교정 답변

* Teacher, Please don't hesitate to correct all the words or expressions from me. * If changing some words could be more natural with not harming my sentence structure, please suggest me. If there are more nice expression, changing whole the structure would be nice. Hello, this is James with Samsung in Korea. May I speak to the person in charge of the sales department? (somebody come out) Hey, this is James with Samsung in Korea. We found your company on the Internet. We were looking for the security camera which will be used for our project in Indonesia. And it seems like that your products are very fit to our purpose. But unfortunately, I can't found out the e-mail address of sales representitive. So, May I ask your email address? I can tell you more about our inquiries. (after receiving the email address) OK. thanks a lot. I'll send you a mail right after a minute. Take it easy. bye.

CORRECTION:

Hello, this is James with Samsung in Korea. May I speak to the person in charge of the sales department? (someone comes to the phone) Hi, this is James with Samsung in Korea. We found your company on the internet and are looking for the security camera model... which will be used for a project in Indonesia. It seems as though your products are what we are looking for. However, I do not have an email address for a sales rep. Could you please provide me with the appropriate email contact? After that, I can explain a little more of what we're looking for. Thanks very much, James

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