목록으로 돌아가기
공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 05. 21 조회 14623

problems with my technology

작성자: 1102241791 담당 튜터: Edna1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I often drop my cellphone. So, my smartphone display screen is often broken. One day I dropped my phone again. Therefore my phone display screen was completely ruined. So, my phone didn’t work any more. I do many things such as contacting friends, listen to music and surfing the internet with smartphone. So, I can’t live a single day without it. Thus, I went to repair center and fixed it. But, next day the phone did not work again even though I replaced my smartphone display screem. I visited a repair center and asked them what was wrong with it. It turned out that not only display screen was cracked but also some parts of the mobile phone was ruined. So, I fixed it with paying double money than a formal day.
I had hard time because repair center far from my house and it costs a lot of money in repairs.
I made a my mind not to drop my smart phone.
튜터 교정 답변

I often drop my cellphone. So, my smartphone display screen is often broken. One day I dropped my phone again. Therefore my phone display screen was completely ruined. So, my phone didn’t work any more. I do many things such as contacting friends, listen to music and surfing the internet with smartphone. So, I can’t live a single day without it. Thus, I went to repair center and fixed it. But, next day the phone did not work again even though I replaced my smartphone display screem. I visited a repair center and asked them what was wrong with it. It turned out that not only display screen was cracked but also some parts of the mobile phone was ruined. So, I fixed it with paying double money than a formal other day. I had hard time because repair center is far from my house and it costs a lot of money in repairs. I made a up my mind not to drop my smart phone.

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!