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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 06. 01 조회 13348

Hello over there

작성자: 119846 담당 튜터: Joselin1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Title : Hello over there

(We made a SNS in our intranet to communicate between our local subsidiary.
Every personnel like me at HQ in Korea might be matched with a co-worker in subsidiary)

Hello. I am James Lee in Korea.
Nice to see you.
I hope this small step for our communication might be helpful to our closeness and cooperation.
Because we have limited access to your legion, we might be dependant on you when we run a business at your area.
And I am very happy by the expectation that this will broaden our sight on each country's characteristic.

I hope we'll have get in contact often.
See you soon.
튜터 교정 답변

Title : Hello over there (We made a SNS in our intranet to communicate between our local subsidiary. Every personnel like me at HQ in Korea might be matched with a co-worker in subsidiary) Hello. I am James Lee in Korea. Nice to see you. I hope this small step for our communication might be helpful to our closeness and cooperation. Because we have limited access to your legion, we might be dependant on you when we run a business at your area. And I am very happy by the expectation that this will broaden our sight on each country's characteristic. I hope we'll have get in contact often. See you soon.

Title: Hello there! (We are communicating via SMS on our intranet with our local subsidiary.) Every employee like myself here at headquarters in Korea is matched with a co-worker in one of our subsidiaries. Hello. This is James Lee in Korea, nice to meet you. I'm reaching out to you in hopes that it will improve communication and cooperation between our companies. Because we have limited access in your region, we may require some assistance when doing business in your area. I am very excited that this will broaden our insight into eachother's countries' unique characteristics. I hope we'll be in contact often. Talk with you soon.

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!