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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 07. 07 조회 14366

Please check my sentences grammatically (7.7 (1))

작성자: 1102047346 담당 튜터: Katharine1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I worked out at the gym in the night.

Sometimes I feel burden when I go to work.
It is stressful but I think if I want to improve myself, I have to get burden.

In korea, there is a limition retirement. That is "60 years old".
On these days there are not many people who retire when they are 60 years old.
In my case, maybe I will retire 40, 50years old.
Unfortunately, human life is longer than before, almost 100 years old!
That's why 50 years old means, that is just half of my all life.
I would already retire. That is awful!

I will quit my job at least 35 years old.
I want to do own my job.

If I retire, I want not to be worried about money.

I don't any plan to go other company.
Some days, I want to do other work for my career.
It is important to get a variety experiences.

I think Korea is not common sense.
There are so many secret accident like getting bribe.
Korea look like a good nation for only rich.

I have to overcome Racism in America.
튜터 교정 답변

I worked out at the gym in the at night. Sometimes I feel burdened when I go to work. It is stressful but I think if I want to improve myself, I have to get have this burden. In korea, there is a limition retirement a working age limit. That is "60 years old". On tThese days there are not many people who retire when they are 60 years old. In my case, maybe I will retire when I am 40, 50years old. Unfortunately, human life is longer than before, almost 100 years old! That's why 50 years old means, that is just half of my all life. I would already retire. That is awful! I will quit my job when I am at least 35 years old. I want to do own my job. If I retire, I want not to be worried about money. I don't any plan to go another company. Some days, I want to do other work for my career. It is important to get a variety of experiences. I think Korea does not use common sense. There are so many secretive actions, like getting [a bribe]/[bribery]. Korea looks like a good nation for only the rich. I have to overcome Racism in America.

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