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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 07. 15 조회 12980

To Soften Image, Brazilian Police Ride In Atop Horned Beasts

작성자: pos601974 담당 튜터: JoeM1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Though some people say Asian water buffalo is cut into only steak, there are other ways of explaining buffalo’s usefulness. Asian water buffalo provides humans with not only steak but also cheese from buffalo milk. Moreover, buffalo hauls garbage and run in parades and festivals. Water buffalo is a good swimmer. They are better than dogs. Also, buffalo is agile in mud swamp. They are faster than horses in mud. Furthermore, buffalo is friendly with humans. So it is easy to make use of buffalo in our lives. Buffalo is useful for riding so soldiers and policemen like to patrol with buffalo instead of riding vehicles. Especially, riding buffalo can reduce tensions when soldiers and policemen patrol dangerous areas. In summary, there are many reasons why people love buffalo and make use of them. It is not only because Asian water buffalo provides us steak and cheese, but also because they haul garbage, run in parades, swim well, move in mud fastly, and give a ride to us with friendly smile
튜터 교정 답변

Though some people say Asian water buffalo is are only cut into only steaks, there are other ways of explaining the buffalo’s usefulness. Asian water buffalo provides humans with not only steak but also cheese from buffalo milk. Moreover, these buffalo hauls garbage and run in parades and festivals. Water buffalo is a are good swimmers. They are better than dogs. Also, buffalo is are agile in mud swamps. They are faster than horses in mud. Furthermore, buffalo is friendly with to humans. So it is easy to make use of buffalo in our lives. Buffalo is are useful for riding so soldiers and policemen like to patrol with buffalo instead of riding vehicles. Especially, Riding buffalo can reduce tensions when soldiers and policemen patrol dangerous areas. In summary, there are many reasons why people love buffalo and make use of them. It is not only because Asian water buffalo provides us with steak and cheese, but also because they haul garbage, run in parades, swim well, move in mud fastly quickly and give a us rides  to us with a friendly smile.

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