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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 07. 29 조회 13256

The myth of the spoiled child and do fathers matter

작성자: pos601974 담당 튜터: Wynston1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Kohn urges parents control their children much and kids are discouraged as a result. Kohn blames parents who cheer their children who bring a trophy from school. According to him, those parents give conditional love to their kids. It makes kids do role play in the world like someone win and others lose. Kohn urges it isn’t right and we should embrace our children without considering their performance. But there is no lesson if people give trophies to every child. In that point, Reuben empahsizes father’s role. According to him, father is not an invisible person in family, but a key person plays crucial role in family. Father not only makes kids to do more plays and risk-taking activities that mother usually doesn’t provide with children, but also gives lessons in the logical viewpoint, not emotional viewpoint. As a result, parents will be able to provide their kids with unconditional love as well as life-long lessons are necessary to their kids to have proper value on their mind
튜터 교정 답변

Kohn urges parents control their children much and kids are discouraged as a result. Kohn blames parents who cheer their children who bring a trophy from school. According to him, those parents give conditional love to their kids. It makes kids do role play in the world like someone win and others lose. Kohn urges THAT it isn’t right, and THAT we should embrace our children without considering their performance. But there is no lesson if people give trophies to every child. In that point REGARD, Reuben empahsizes THE father’s role. According to him, father is not an invisible person in family, but a key person WHO plays A crucial role inTHE  family. FatherS not only makes kids to do more plays and risk-taking activities WHICH that motherS usually doesn’t provide with children  DO NOT ENCOURAGE, but also gives TEACH lessons in the FROM A logical viewpoint, not emotional viewpoint. As a result, parents will be MORE able to provide their kids with unconditional love, as well as life-long lessons are necessary to FOR their kids to INCORPORATE have proper valueS AS THEY GROW UP. on their mind

Well written John ... Great Job.

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