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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 08. 02 조회 12762

What the most important value is in life?

작성자: pos601974 담당 튜터: JoeM1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I believe thankfulness is the most important value in life. Thank enables us to do something good and in a right way. Although we have troubles and agonies, we can change things good if we thank to the situation. For example, I didn’t get a Ph.D. because I failed to receive a financial support from school. However, I didn’t frustrate about the situation and thank to the time I studied and researched in the school. Fortunately, I could find job opportunity to work in POSCO.
Also, thank allows us to keep so positive that we can move forward. Positive energy make us to be active, as a result, we make meaningful achievements and productive accomplishments. For instance, my team at work was disappeared after company reorganization. I was confused for the first time what is going on in my work. However, I kept thanks I have something to work and colleagues to always support me. I did my best at work whatever my position is. As a result, I won a prize and got promoted.
튜터 교정 답변

I believe thankfulness is the most important value in life. Thankfulness enables us to do something good thingsand in a the right way. Although we have troubles and agonies, we can change things for the better good if we are thankful. to the situation. For example, I didn’t get a Ph.D. because I failed to receive a financial support from school. However, I didn’t get angry. frustrate about the situation and thank to I was thankful for the time I studied and did researched in the at school. Fortunately, I found a could find job opportunity to work in at POSCO. Also, being thankful allows us to stay keep so positive that we can and move forward. Positive energy makes us to be more active, and as a result, we make have meaningful achievements and productive accomplishments. For example instance, my team at work was disappeared eliminated after a company reorganization. I was confused and questioned for the first time what is going on in my work. However, I remained thankful that kept thanks I had a job have something to work and colleagues to always support me. I did my best at work whatever my position was is. As a result, I won a prize and got promoted.

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