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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 08. 02 조회 13119

In Los Angeles, focusing on violence before it occurs

작성자: pos601974 담당 튜터: Wynston1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Although many cities don’t develop effective solutions regarding school violence, Los Angeles moves forward with the efforts of police, school, legal agencies, and mental care professionals. The program was developed by the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) in 2007. According to LAPD, it was difficult to educate school and mental health professionals about the legal responsibilities, and the exceptions in federal privacy laws that allow information to be shared in exigent circumstances. As a result of overcoming those difficulties and continuing the program, LAPD made several meaningful achievements. For example, LAPD prevented one student from killing the classmates and making bombs. Parents cooperate with the program. They also want to know what they miss with their children. Someone said the program is note worthy regarding protecting children and keeping them in safe environment, so it will be good for other cities to learn about the program for spreading it over the states.
튜터 교정 답변

Although many cities don’t develop effective solutions regarding school violence, Los Angeles moves forward with the efforts of police, school, legal agencies, and mental care professionals. The program was developed by the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) in 2007. According to LAPD, it was difficult to educate school and mental health professionals about the legal responsibilities, and the exceptions in federal privacy laws that allow information to be shared in exigent circumstances. As a result of overcoming those difficulties and continuing the program, LAPD made several meaningful achievements. For example, LAPD prevented one student from killing the classmates and making bombs. Parents cooperate with the program. They also want to know what they miss with their children. Someone said the program is note worthy regarding protecting children and keeping them in safe environment, so it will be good for other cities to learn about the program for spreading it over the states.

WELL WRITTEN JOHN ...

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