목록으로 돌아가기
공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 08. 10 조회 13091

What is the greatest invention in the 20th century? (2/2)

작성자: pos601974 담당 튜터: JoeM1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Second, it is clear internet allows us to get a lot of information easily. When I was in elementary school, I went to a library to get the data and information for my homework. Books, newspapers, and articles are main sources provide the data and information with us at that time. Now, we can receive various information with real time through internet social network sites and get a lot of data from old to new one through internet. It indicates internet enables us to make use of various data and information and as a result, there are many meaningful progresses in our life such as having distant learning, working at home, and so on.

In conclusion, there are two main reasons why internet is the greatest invention in the 20th century. It is not only because internet connects us in the world with real time, but also because internet delivers us a lot of data and information.
튜터 교정 답변

Second, it is clear the internet allows us to get a lot of information easily. When I was in elementary school, I went to a library to get the data and information for my homework. Books, newspapers, and articles are were the main sources provide ing the data and information for with us at that time. Now, we can receive various information with real time through the internet social network sites and get a lot of data from old to new, one through the internet. It indicates the internet enables us to make use of various data and information and as a result, we can make there are many meaningful progresses in our life such as having distant learning, working at home, and so on. In conclusion, there are two main reasons why the internet is the greatest invention of in the 20th century. It is not only because the internet connects us in the world with real time, but also because the internet delivers us a lot of data and information.

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!