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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 10. 30 조회 12514

Do my best in the present and go for the bright future! (1/2)

작성자: pos601974 담당 튜터: Mary1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I was confused what my focus should be aiming for – the present or the future. My conclusion is that both the present and the future are all important. So I’ll try to grab all the two things.

It is clear that focusing on the present and doing my best to make fruitful achievements in the present are more important than chasing ambiguous future.

One thing is that I have a dream to be a professor in business major, especially accounting. I want to be a professional who can communicate in English and Korean. To approach my goal, I may have to spend at least four hours per day for one year. How can I do this?

Today, I’ll arrive at home at eight thirty p.m., play with my sons, and make them go to bed before ten p.m. If I can wake up early enough, I’m gonna wake up at four p.m. I usually stretch up and take shower for thirty minutes. I won’t say any more details about how I spend time every day.
튜터 교정 답변

I was confused what my focus should be aiming for – the present or the future. My conclusion is that both the present and the future are important. So I’ll try to grab both things. [We usually don't use "all of" phrases unless there are at least three things. For two, use "both" in this context.] It is clear that focusing on the present and doing my best to make fruitful achievements in the present are more important than chasing the ambiguous future. One thing is that I have a dream to be a professor in a business major, especially accounting. I want to be a professional who can communicate in English and Korean. To approach my goal, I may have to spend at least four hours per day for one year working toward it. How can I do this? Today, I’ll arrive at home at eight thirty p.m., play with my sons, and make them go to bed before ten p.m. If I can wake up early enough, I’m gonna wake up at four a.m. I usually stretch up and take a shower for thirty minutes. I won’t say any more details about how I spend time every day.

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