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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 11. 12 조회 13360

Movie 2

작성자: 1102047480 담당 튜터: MaryJo2
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Recently the movie industry in Korea has changed in eye-opening progress, Big Company jumped in this area, so film distribution is provided by multi flex Movie Company today, and the facility of theater has improved a lot. So if we have enough money, though the one click in computer or smart phone, we can enjoy the movie on the leather chairs which can be reclined, there is a stool and disposable slippers for me in comfortable suite room. We can order some snack during the showing.
But sometimes, I miss the old-fashioned movie theater where I enjoyed the movie with my father.
튜터 교정 답변

Recently the movie industry in Korea has changed in eye-opening progress, Big Companies jumped in to this area, so film distribution is provided by multi flex Movie Company today, and the facility of theater has improved a lot. So if we have enough money, though the one click in   on the computer or smart phone, we can enjoy the movie on the leather chairs which can be reclined, there is a stool and disposable slippers for me in comfortable suite room. We can order some snacks during the showing. But sometimes, I miss the old-fashioned movie theater where I enjoyed the movie with my father.

Kelly, great script for the OPIc.  Nicely written, good detail, and wonderful conclusion.

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!