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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 11. 23 조회 13311

The computerized on-board warning system 1/2

작성자: pos601974 담당 튜터: Mary1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
"The computerized on-board warning system that will be installed in commercial airliners will virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions. "

The article in a daily newspaper asserts that the computerized on-board warning system will prevent midair planes from colliding. Although at first glance the assertion appears solid, upon closer inspection, a number of questionable assumptions become obvious, and thus weaken its ability to adequately convince potential readers.

To begin with, the article assumes that one plane’s warning system can receive signals from another’s transponder. However, there are many possibilities for one airplane miss signals from another. For example, if one airplane is covered with so much thick clouds or lighting hit the airplane’s antenas, then it may not get another’s signal.

Also, there are many other assumptions of determining the likelihood of a collision and recommend evasive actions.
튜터 교정 답변

"The computerized on-board warning system that will be installed in commercial airliners will virtually solve the problem of midair plane collisions. " The article in a daily newspaper asserts that the computerized on-board warning system will prevent midair planes from colliding. Although at first glance the assertion appears solid, upon closer inspection, a number of questionable assumptions become obvious, and thus weaken its ability to adequately convince potential readers. To begin with, the article assumes that one plane’s warning system can receive signals from another’s transponder. However, there are many possibilities for one airplane to miss signals from another. For example, if one airplane is covered with so many thick clouds or if lightning hit the airplane’s antenas, then it may not get another’s signal. Also, there are many other assumptions of determining the likelihood of a collision and recommending evasive actions.

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