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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 12. 03 조회 13176

Regarding the annual report of Olympic Foods 1/2

작성자: pos601974 담당 튜터: Mary1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
The annual report of Olympic Foods asserts that they will be able to minimize costs and thus maximize profits. Although at first glance this assertion appears solid, upon closer inspection a number of questionable assumptions become obvious and thus weaken its ability to adequately convince potential readers.

To begin with, the annual report assumes that the costs of processing of food go down because tge cost of a 3-by-5 inch print fell over time. This could be a poor analogy. Perhaps, color film processors could reduce costs because the printer becomes cheap whereas more accurate and to operate faster. In this case, it maybe impossible for Olympic Foods to minimize costs since there were no improvement in the food processing machine, rather the price gets more expensive than before.

Moreover, even though the same principle applies to the processing of food, the report ignores sales price of food.
튜터 교정 답변

The annual report of Olympic Foods asserts that they will be able to minimize costs and thus maximize profits. Although at first glance this assertion appears solid, upon closer inspection a number of questionable assumptions become obvious and thus weaken its ability to adequately convince potential readers. To begin with, the annual report assumes that the costs of processing food go down because the cost of a 3-by-5 inch print fell over time. This could be a poor analogy. Perhaps, color film processors could reduce costs because the printer becomes cheaper as it becomes more accurate and faster to operate. In this case, it maybe impossible for Olympic Foods to minimize costs since there were no improvements in the food processing machine. Instead the price gets more expensive than before. Moreover, even though the same principle applies to the processing of food, the report ignores sales price of food.

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