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공개 첨삭 완료 2015. 12. 29 조회 13254

Top ten news in 2015 and ten wish lists in 2016 1/3

작성자: pos601974 담당 튜터: Mary1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
This year is passing so fast and many things happened during whole year as before. In a time order, our family was glad my wife gave birth to our second child well on March. Personally, I studied hard and took TOEFL exam on April. I repaired damaged fenders and rear doors of my car. Our firstborn son started to go to a daycare center. I was promoted to a manager. And I was glad to bring my firstborn son to my office and show him a lighting man’s performance.

But I was tortured when Joseph stayed at the hospital for the trouble in his intestine. My wife has been suffering from her back pain, so she’s going to an acupuncture center. I would like to study abroad so I applied for a scholarship supported by the institution for Korea advanced education. I did my best, but I was rejected. On November, our family went to Jeju island and enjoy our vacation.
튜터 교정 답변

This year is passing so fast and many things happened during the whole year as before. In a time order, our family was glad my wife gave birth to our second child safely in March. Personally, I studied hard and took the TOEFL exam in April. I repaired  the damaged fenders and rear doors of my car. Our firstborn son started to go to a daycare center. I was promoted to a manager. And I was glad to bring my firstborn son to my office and show him a lighting man’s performance. But I was tortured when Joseph stayed at the hospital for the trouble in his intestine. My wife has been suffering from her back pain, so she’s going to an acupuncture center. I would like to study abroad so I applied for a scholarship supported by the institution for Korea advanced education. I did my best, but I was rejected. In November, our family went to Jeju island and enjoy our vacation.

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