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공개 첨삭 완료 2016. 01. 12 조회 14451

Domestic traveling

작성자: 87316 담당 튜터: Sheryl
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Let me tell you about My domestic traveling. A couple years ago, my mother and my family traveled to Oedo island which is in the southern Korea. This travel was first time with my mother.

Oedo was really famous island in the Korea. There are a lot of nice scenery. We admired various flowers in the garden. And there is nice fountain in the middel of island. Also we took a picture togather in front of fountain. And we got on a cruis ship for watching various island. I first exprienced to get cruis ship.

At that time I spent much happy time with my family. It was heaven. I still enjoy the pictures I took when I was there.
튜터 교정 답변

Let me tell you about my domestic traveling. A couple of years ago, my mother and my family traveled to Oedo Island which is located in South Korea. This travel was our first time to travel with my mother. Oedo was really a famous island in Korea. There are a lot of nice sceneries there. We admired various flowers in the garden. And there is a nice fountain in the middle of the island. Also, we took a picture together in front of a fountain. And we got on a cruise ship to see the different places in the island. This was my first exprience to get on a cruise ship. At that time, I spent much happy time with my family. It was heaven. I still enjoy the pictures I took when I was there.

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