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공개 첨삭 완료 2016. 04. 07 조회 13276

Furniture 3

작성자: 87316 담당 튜터: Sheryl
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Half a year ago I bought a new couch at furniture store. I had worn out a couch. I needed to replace a existing couch. So I went to there with my wife. The furniture store was recommended from my college. The store bose is my college's aunt. She was an honest person. I wanted to buy the new furniture from a trust person. So I bought the furniture from offline store. I saw it and tryed touching it. Since I desided to buy the couch. A couple of weeks later, my sister in law's family visited my home. They had been staying for a week. They had two younger daughters. A girl was six years old and another was eight years old. They enjoyed jumping on my couch. I was shocked because I saw they were jumping on my expensive couch. However I never said you don't jump on the couch. So I talked to her if you didn't jump on the couch, when I came home at evening, I bought some ice cream for you. She had keep our promise also I had keep to buy some ice cream. Therefore I could protect my expensive couch. I felt pride of myself.
튜터 교정 답변

Half a year ago, I bought a new couch at a furniture store. I had a worn out couch. I needed to replace my existing couch. So I went there with my wife. The furniture store was recommended by my college friend. The store manager is my college friend's aunt. She was an honest person. I wanted to buy the new furniture from a trusted person. So I bought the furniture from an offline store. I saw it and tried touching it. Since I decided to buy the couch. A couple of weeks later, my sister-in-law's family visited my home. They had been staying for a week. They have two young daughters. The youngest is six years old and the eldest is eight years old. They enjoyed jumping on my couch. I was shocked because I saw them jumping on my expensive couch. However, I never said "don't jump on the couch". So I talked to them that  if they didn't jump on the couch, when I came home at evening, I will buy some ice cream for them. They kept their promise and I also kept my promise to buy some ice cream. Therefore, I could protect my expensive couch. I felt pride for myself.

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