help
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Eat well, deep well is the key of my health.
But it's not esay to control stress.
Six years ago I had to work till late and worried about promotion too much.
I couldn't sleep deeply after going home back at night.
After a while I often felt dizzy and then I was diagnosed with anemia.
While I was taking a medicine, I got another disease.
I couldn't imagine that such ill although I wasn't healthy.
I felt near death and promotion was not important any more
After several months treatment, I luckily recovered from disease.
In retrospect my disease resulted from stress and non-exercising.
Since that incident, I have learned pilates.
Pilates is not violent exercise but strengthenes muscle and relaxes mind.
People like me who don't like sports can help to maintain health.
But it's not esay to control stress.
Six years ago I had to work till late and worried about promotion too much.
I couldn't sleep deeply after going home back at night.
After a while I often felt dizzy and then I was diagnosed with anemia.
While I was taking a medicine, I got another disease.
I couldn't imagine that such ill although I wasn't healthy.
I felt near death and promotion was not important any more
After several months treatment, I luckily recovered from disease.
In retrospect my disease resulted from stress and non-exercising.
Since that incident, I have learned pilates.
Pilates is not violent exercise but strengthenes muscle and relaxes mind.
People like me who don't like sports can help to maintain health.
튜터 교정 답변
교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!