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공개 첨삭 완료 2016. 04. 14 조회 12766

help

작성자: 1100632765 담당 튜터: Hunter1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Eat well, deep well is the key of my health.
But it's not esay to control stress.
Six years ago I had to work till late and worried about promotion too much.
I couldn't sleep deeply after going home back at night.
After a while I often felt dizzy and then I was diagnosed with anemia.
While I was taking a medicine, I got another disease.
I couldn't imagine that such ill although I wasn't healthy.
I felt near death and promotion was not important any more
After several months treatment, I luckily recovered from disease.
In retrospect my disease resulted from stress and non-exercising.
Since that incident, I have learned pilates.
Pilates is not violent exercise but strengthenes muscle and relaxes mind.
People like me who don't like sports can help to maintain health.
튜터 교정 답변

Great job, Rose. I'm glad you are feeling better these days :)

Eat well, deep(sleep?) well is the key of my health. (not sure what "deep well" is)*
But it's not esay to control stress.
Six years ago I had to work late, and I worried about promotions too much.
I couldn't sleep deeply after going home at night.
After a while I often felt dizzy, and then I was diagnosed with anemia.
While I was taking medicine, I got another disease.
Though I wasn't feeling well, I never imagined that I had such an illness.
I felt near death, and promotions were not important anymore
After several months of treatment, I luckily recovered from the disease.
In retrospect, my disease resulted from stress and lack of exercise.
Since that incident, I have learned pilates.
Pilates is not tough exercise, but it strengthenes muscles and relaxes the mind.
People like me who don't like sports can help to maintain health.

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