help, please
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
In my opinion, one of the biggiest change in technology is recorder.
When I was teenage, there was a big recorder at home to hear the music, English conversation.
In my twenties, the cassette recorder was produced and it was small enough to carry in my bag but the price was expensive.
In the 2000s, my thirties MP3 is very popular among youngage and it is more slim.
These days, the machines I’ve just mentioned are disappeared.
The cellular phone substitutes many functions.
Throughout this advanced equipment, we can listen the live music and save the important information and we are always available when we need it.
But the remarkable development in technology is not always optimistic.
One point is our life much easier and more convenient.
Other point is that advanced technology’s autiomation deprives of men’s jobs
When I was teenage, there was a big recorder at home to hear the music, English conversation.
In my twenties, the cassette recorder was produced and it was small enough to carry in my bag but the price was expensive.
In the 2000s, my thirties MP3 is very popular among youngage and it is more slim.
These days, the machines I’ve just mentioned are disappeared.
The cellular phone substitutes many functions.
Throughout this advanced equipment, we can listen the live music and save the important information and we are always available when we need it.
But the remarkable development in technology is not always optimistic.
One point is our life much easier and more convenient.
Other point is that advanced technology’s autiomation deprives of men’s jobs
튜터 교정 답변
교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!