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공개 첨삭 완료 2014. 05. 12 조회 12776

My project

작성자: 71209 담당 튜터: Gail
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
As a sales manager, my job is to suggest a product and make an agreement with customer.

Now, I’m joining the military project this year.
My company is developing a program about a missile defense system.
In this project, I am responsible as a sales manager.

I always attend a meeting of main customers and review the contact and cost.
Sometimes, I decide a major decision in the field.
The relationship with customers is not bad.

The project finished operational test and evaluation last week.
Finally, the determination remains about the test results next month.
튜터 교정 답변

As a sales manager, my job is to suggest a product and make an agreement with customer. = good sentence

Now, I’m joining the military project this year.

> I joined a military project this year. = now and this year are time expressions which express present time use only one

My company is developing a program about a missile defense system. = good sentence

In this project, I am responsible as a sales manager. = good sentence

I always attend a meeting of main customers and review the contact and cost.

> I always attend meetings with main customers and review the contact and cost.

Sometimes, I decide a major decision in the field.

> Sometimes I make a major decision in the field. 

The relationship with customers is not bad. = good sentence

The project finished operational test and evaluation last week. = good sentence

Finally, the determination remains about the test results next month.

> But I have to keep my determination for the test result next month.

 

Thank you for sending me your composition Mr.Lee. I realized that in the class I misunderstood some information. 
Most of the sentences you made were correct. Let's work on improving your speech for better clarity and accuracy.

 

교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!