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공개 첨삭 완료 2016. 05. 12 조회 13386

about my work

작성자: 1100339681 담당 튜터: Vanessa2
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
I'm a senior consultant in the e-Commerce Analytics Group.
I have been working here for the past three months.
My main role is to operate web site of samsung online store.
So I spend a lot of time with computer sitting on the chair.
I try to stretch a waist becuse I've got a slipped disk.
During my lunch break, I usually take a walk with my co workers or drink a cup of coffee with them.

As a computer programmer, my job is to manage a web site of online store.
I am in charge of fix an error or reflect the client's request on the web site.
Recently I develope the birthday coupon system. If the clients of online store meet their birthday,
the web site send the birthday coupon automatically to the clients.
Because I started this job only 2months ago, I'm not used in online shop, but I developed well at last.
After finishing this work, the customers satisfied on online shop and my manager also praise me.
튜터 교정 답변

I'm a senior consultant in the e-Commerce Analytics Group.
I have been working here for the past three months.
My main role is to operate web site of samsung online store.
So I spend a lot of time with computer sitting on the chair.
I try to stretch a waist becuse I've got a slipped disk.
During my lunch break, I usually take a walk with my co workers or drink a cup of coffee with them.

As a computer programmer, my job is to manage a web site of online store.
I am in charge of fix an error or reflect the client's request on the web site.
Recently I develope the birthday coupon system. If the clients of online store meet their birthday,
the web site send the birthday coupon automatically to the clients.
Because I started this job only 2months ago, I'm not used in online shop, but I developed well at last.
After finishing this work, the customers satisfied on online shop and my manager also praise me.

 

Hi there!

 

Thanks for writing to me about your job. ^_^

Check this out:

So I spend a lot of time with computer sitting on the chair. -

* So I spend a lot of time sitting on the chair with my computer. 

I am in charge of fix an error or reflect the client's request on the web site. -

*I am in charge of fixing errors on our client's webpage.

develope -

*develop

If the clients of online store meet their birthday, the web site send the birthday coupon automatically to the clients. -

* When our clients have their birthdays, the website will automatically send them birthday coupons.

Because I started this job only 2months ago, I'm not used in online shop, but I developed well at last. -

*Because I just started this job only 2 months ago, I wasn't  used to manage online shops but then I started to develop eventually. 


After finishing this work, the customers satisfied on online shop and my manager also praise me.

*Each time I finish my work, the customers are always satisfied with the outcome and manager praises me for a job well done. 

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