help, please
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
The first time I used a smartphone was approximately 17 years ago when I was a heah of a small town.
I often went on a business trip in a city and my colleagues in office wanted to get in touch with me, so I bought it.
At that time, mobile phones were not popular and many people didn’t have them.
Their functions were just texting, sending and receiving calls.
But nowadays, we can do lots of things with mobile phone.
I’ve already mentioned. The function of mobile phone is similar to that of computer. The harmful effect of mobile phone is social problem. There are no communication with face to face among people.
They just talk with mobile phone like kakaotalk.
Children enjoy playing the game from mobile phone.
Some children are dangerous in mobile phone addiction.
I often went on a business trip in a city and my colleagues in office wanted to get in touch with me, so I bought it.
At that time, mobile phones were not popular and many people didn’t have them.
Their functions were just texting, sending and receiving calls.
But nowadays, we can do lots of things with mobile phone.
I’ve already mentioned. The function of mobile phone is similar to that of computer. The harmful effect of mobile phone is social problem. There are no communication with face to face among people.
They just talk with mobile phone like kakaotalk.
Children enjoy playing the game from mobile phone.
Some children are dangerous in mobile phone addiction.
튜터 교정 답변
교정 내용이 클립보드에 복사되었습니다!