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공개 첨삭 완료 2016. 07. 19 조회 13755

help, please

작성자: 1100632765 담당 튜터: Hunter1
수강생 원문과 튜터 교정 (Before & After)
학생 제출 원문
Many young Korean dispatched troops to Vietnam War.
Some people around me are suffering pain even now and a few of them are suffering from long-term effects of exposure to defoliants.
Government tries to help them.
If a war is broken(I don’t even think about) I shoud naturally some role.
Two or three times a year, government do virtual simulation training and we perform our roles to preparing for war.
Yoy know, young men in Korea have to serve in the military.
in the past, they were gained special benefit(after army, they got jobs easier than others) but the court judged that it was not equal between men and women.
So now, although after the military, young men don’t get extra points.
튜터 교정 답변

Great job, Rose :)

Many young Korean soldiers were dispatched during the Vietnam War.
Some people around me are suffering from pain even now, and a few of them are suffering from long-term effects from exposure to defoliants.
The government tries to help them.
If war breaks out (I don’t even think about) I shoud naturally play some role.
Two or three times a year, the government does virtual simulation training, and we perform our roles to prepare for war.
You know, young men in Korea have to serve in the military.
In the past, they gained special benefits (after the army, they got jobs easier than others), but the court judged that it was not equal between men and women.
So now, after the military, young men don’t get extra points.

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